sharing as therapy

doctor rose turned me over to sheena today, whose big, black, fake lashes and monotone voice are somehow inviting.
i was invited to get off these pills and start new ones. i accepted.
on anti-depressants and marijuana

the city is cooler these days. i have a cold. my lips are dry\\

i'm listening to pittparti by poorgrrrl on repeat.

the truth shall set you free

i thought about it
talked about it
cried about it
laughed about it
smoked about it

until i finally did it

i am

a person/woman/29/f/miami

girl architect/architect girl

cold feet

blurriness
and success

more like distress

noise boys

world word salad

lord

WOD

The word of the day is:

in·ci·den·tal

ˌinsəˈden(t)l/

noun

plural noun: incidentals

1. an incidental detail, expense, event, etc.

   "an allowance to cover meals, taxis, and other incidentals"

 

ruminating

is the word of the day.

ru·mi·nate

ˈro͞oməˌnāt/

verb

1. 1.

   think deeply about something.

   "we sat ruminating on the nature of existence"

   synonyms:

   think about, contemplate, consider, meditate on, muse on, mull over, ponder on/over,deliberate about/on, chew on, puzzle over;  formalcogitate about "we ruminated on the nature of existence"

2. 2.

   (of a ruminant) chew the cud.

   synonyms:

   think about, contemplate, consider, meditate on, muse on, mull over, ponder on/over,deliberate about/on, chew on, puzzle over;  formalcogitate about "we ruminated on the nature of existence"

Dear

Dear Rivera,

Happy Birthday. You are 29 now.
You'll be 30 in a year.
You should get your shit together. Strive for financial security.
Don't be lazy. Take control of your life.
You are an artist and designer.
Where is your portfolio?
Create one.
With volumes. of zines.
Do it.
Go.
Now.

Sincerely,
Rivera

watching you watching me

i looked out through the bathroom window and down into the alley,

across the cobblestone path and under the Parisian moon

i watched the Asian woman prepare a meal

she seemed focused, engaged in the simple, repetitive act of kneading what looked like some kind of dough or something

i envied her.

i wished for that moment that we could trade lives

and i could exit my existence and enter hers

on some being-john-malkovich-type shit

yeah, i said it

you should've known better with
a
girl
like
me

hotshot
like me

i don't believe in time.

Notes from Underground

The idea of fun. 

Homo Ludens

Fun

crystal colors polarized 

boundless

i don’t believe in time. 

we r droids

we are like droids up in here.
when we are not on our phones we are on our laptops.

girl

you know you're lost

lost

in
the heat
of it all

Miami Miami Miami

lost

on the vespa

ridin down the boulevard

lost

in his arms

nuzzling and touching